Shojo S: Operation, Photograph Byakuya!
by Sarudoshi
Summary: complete with comedy, some fluff, and a pissy Kuchiki Byakuya... how ever will a Third Seat like our heroine survive it? based off the small sidestory-comic in Bleach Official Bootleg KaraBuri . just a comedy short-story i had to post. R/R please! a quaint amount of ByaOC thrown into the mix, rated for language.


_**disclaimer**__: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo / Kita belongs to me_

* * *

"Please? Pretty _please?_" She blinked her puppy-dog periwinkle eyes and clapped her hands together; she deadpanned and then exhaled, rubbing her temples. "Fine! Come on." She obliged.

"You're the best, Kita-chan~," she cooed and embraced her tight before releasing her to bounce inside the living room, pausing to look over her shoulder at the door, "coast is clear, girls!" She hollered.

She blinked and then deadpanned once more when the remaining members of the SWA (Soul Society Women's Association) piled into her small living room, feeling a sliver of relief when seeing her soon-to-be sister in law also present as she was the last one to file in after Rangiku, Momo, Nanao, Nemu, Isane, Yachiru, Kiyone and Captain Unohana. "Um, remind me again why... **Rangiku**!" She turned to her old friend that was busy "looking" (snooping) through her brother's liquor stash. "Why the hell are all of you in my house again?" She demanded.

"Matsumoto-chan said you wouldn't mind if we held our SWA meeting here, Kita-chan." Isane piped up in her humble tone, perking her ears.

Rukia caught the dagger-filled scowl her friend sent towards the innocent-looking lieutenant. "And the fact that your house is close to the Kuchiki mansion was another factor. The last time we had it in the mansion sort of... well, backfired. Remember the swimming-pool incident?" She offered to calm down the soon-to-be Lady Kuchiki, seeing her blink.

Kita snorted. "I'd heard something about that little... _issue_. But I guess since it seems hazardous to hold the meeting literally under your brother's nose, it seemed the wise choice to have it here..."

"That's the spirit, Kita-_imoto_-chan!" Rangiku beamed at her friend, ignoring her pointed scowl, turning to the rest of the women inside the room and clapping her hands together once more. "Okay ladies, this meeting has now come to order! The latest issue of the _Seireitei Bulletin_ is almost out and we need a photo of the winner of the '_Which Captain Should Release a Photo Book?'_ which so happens to be your future hubby, Kita~," She declared lightly, seeing her blink from having been sitting next to Rukia.

Rukia sweatdropped. "H-how exactly... Never mind." She stuttered, looking down and grumbling something inaudible.

"So who's the lucky vic... erm, _photographer_, to take his photo?" Kita wondered after patting her back, looking at her friend.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto and I have tried the past couple of weeks to take a secret photograph of Kuchiki-Taichou." Nemu said in a monotone voice. "But it seems our missions have proved futile."  
Nanao took up for her, "so we were hoping someone else would volunteer for the job; it's easier said than done, regrettably."

_Why do I have a sinking feeling_...

"Kita-onee should do it!" Yachiru chirped from stuffing cookies into her mouth, smiling brightly at the slightly-shocked woman.

The rest of the women present turned their eyes onto her, making her blink again.

"Eh...?" She began. _Good grief, why me!_ "H-hang on, can't you get someone else to do it!? Maybe Captain Soi Fon could pull it off, I mean, she's the head of the Omnitsukido for the gods' sakes! Stealth is key in something as dangerous as this!" She stammered.

"Captain Soi Fon is busy this week, unfortunately, and you DO know Captain Kuchiki best out of anyone in this room, Kita-chan." Unohana calmed her, smiling serenely when the flustered third seat looked to her.

Kita shook her head, "I won't deny that, Captain, but Rangiku..." She faltered, looking at her best friend to see she was smiling just like Unohana was, a sign that the decision had been reached.

_Fuck, __**why**__...?_

"Come on, Kita-chan, take one for the team!" Kiyone piped up, smiling assuringly at her flabbergasted face.

Reluctantly accepting defeat, she ran a hand through her wavy hair, closing her eyes with a soft groan. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this...?" She sighed.

"Atta girl!" Rangiku pumped a fist into the air to cheer her on.

Rukia patted her on the shoulder, "it sounds harder than it actually is, really. I'm sure getting a photo of Onii-sama should be easy for you, Kita!" She chimed helpfully.

Kita groaned again.

:::::::xOx:::::::

After getting the camera from Nanao and ushering the women out of her house before her brother came home, she looked down at the new-looking device and sighed, stowing it into her _shihakusho_. _This had to be one of the scariest missions she'd ever been on... no, scratch that, __**THROWN**__ into!_ "Good grief..."

A knock sounded on the front door, making her jump, before she righted her nerves and went to answer it, opening the door to see the object of her latest mission standing there on her doorstep.

"T-Taichou, I, um... What're you doing here?" Kita stammered, blushing on reflex and looking up at him.

He had a vague sense that she was hiding something... But if it wasn't that important or hazardous, he wouldn't pry. "You were going to come have dinner at my mansion, or did you forget?" Kuchiki Byakuya cocked a brow in curiosity towards his fiancé's stumbling over her words, seeing the blush on her cheeks deepen.

"Oh yeah! Crap, I almost forgot..." Kita laughed meekly, smiling. "In that case, let's go!" She suggested, reaching past him to open the door.

Byakuya sweatdropped and followed her out into the dying afternoon until he walked alongside her. "I'd have thought you were going to change out of your uniform." He mused.

"Eh? Oh, yeah, musta forgot; Rangiku came over for something or other and it just slipped my mind. It's not like I look bad in it… do I?" She looked up at him in slight confusion, knowing she was only half-lying to him.

He shook his head and lifted a hand to tousle her hair. "Of course not, you look fine." He assured calmly, seeing her cheeks redden.

She nodded and smiled slowly, catching his lowering hand and intertwining her fingers with his, seeing him blink before his hand in her grasp squeezed her fingers gently, comforting the nerves that had been jumbled when he'd shown up at her doorstep only minutes ago.

It was at the last few moments of dinner when she recalled the original reason she'd accompanied him for dinner instead of insisting he let her cook for him, and were it not for the calmness of the dining room's atmosphere, her nerves would've become jumbled up again.

_Well given Kiba's prolly spending the night at the barracks, it'd be wiser if I spent the night here instead of at home_, she thought as she looked out at the garden that was envied among the surrounding noble houses, letting her eyes wander to the last rays of sun that had turned pink, putting up a weak front against the onslaught of cobalt, navy and even indigo hues of blue that were taking over for the oranges and reds that were once prominent and strong.

Twilight really was a very peaceful time.

"You've been quiet all evening; is something bothering you?" His low voice at her side made her jump slightly and then look up at him to see he'd joined her in solace.

Kita blushed slightly out of embarrassment, looking down. "Am I really that much of an open book to you?" She returned in the same quiet tone, chuckling dryly.

Byakuya looked to the various blues that were overtaking the horizon to make way for the moon before his face softened and he chuckled with her. "Just when you're hiding something. Perhaps being around me for so long has improved your blank-face skills." He mused.

"Don't give yourself so much credit, it'll only make your ego that much more unbearable." She groused playfully, smirking as she followed his line of sight.

He huffed and reflexively poked her forehead as he used to do when they were children, making her utter a sound that resembled a mewl and her cheeks puff out childishly, earning a chuckle from him. "Then don't act so childish," he jibed coolly.

Kita snorted and blushed again, looking away with a dramatized huff. "You're so mean!" She whined.

Rolling his eyes, the more-mature-one-of-the-couple extended his arm and folded it around her waist, tugging her closer to his side and making her squeak and look up at him beneath her lashes with those clear blue orbs he loved most, earning a smile, before he kissed her forehead and made her blush deepen.

'_Try not to forget about your mission_, imoto-_chan_.' Her zanpakuto reminded in the back of her mind; pushing aside her reminder, she leaned up to kiss him happily, slightly surprising her fiancé, before she felt his arms tighten possessively around her and he kissed back.

* * *

The sun was barely beginning to rise outside.

She shrugged her _shihakusho_ back on after tending to her pants, trying to be quiet and let him sleep; she dared a look over her shoulder at his slumbering form and couldn't help but smile at how peaceful he appeared despite his status and pride that often got in the way of his true self he didn't show to hardly anyone but her... and maybe Rukia. _Maybe_.

Remembering the camera that had been tucked into her _shihakusho_, she pulled it out and looked to make sure the flash was off and vainly praying he wouldn't hear.

_Here goes nothing_, she thought, silently gulping as she shuffled to sit on her knees and position the camera's lens to just the right angle before taking the photo, biting down on her lower lip when she thought it would make a racket but blessedly did not. _Phew_.

Quickly tucking it back into her _shihakusho_, she smiled down at him and ducked to leave a chaste peck on his cheek before shuffling away to get up and slip out of his room before he could take note of her absence.

Kita bolted as soon as she was outside on the grounds, headed straight for the Tenth Division Barracks.

:::::::xOx:::::::

"I can't believe you did it."

She flipped through the pages of the magazine once again, returning briefly to the photo of her older brother.

She stared up at the sky, relaxing on the rooftop of the barracks' tallest building, blue eyes bored. "I know, and I never want to do it again for as long as I live." _However long that may be, at least until he sees it_, she inwardly added with a small shiver of fear.

"That all depends when he sees the photo… Hang on, why are you here at _my_ squad's barracks?" She blinked, looking at her friend.

She slid her eyes closed and sighed, "A thief never returns to the scene of the crime; in my case it's basically the same. I'm not stupid enough to be lounging around at **MY** squad's barracks, are you insane? He'd only kill me faster…" She added under her breath.

Both women gave a collected shudder.  
"You might have a point…" She mused.

"Well this is a surprise! What brought you all this way, Kita?" A voice wondered from behind them, coming from the stairwell that led to the rooftop.

Rukia jumped just as Kita scrambled up to her feet on reflex, fear showing in both of their faces, before they realized it was only Captain Ukitake.

The shorter woman sighed out a 'phew' as her soon-to-be-sister-in-law relaxed her stance. "Ukitake-taichou, it's only you. We thought it was someone else." She offered to her captain, smiling in relief.

"Rukia invited me over to talk and that's what we've been doin', Taichou," the aforementioned woman contributed lightly, offering a sheepish smile.

"It's good to see you around, Kita; friends are important in times like this." The kind captain flashed one of his infamous smiles at both women before clearing his throat and returning to business, "Though the real reason I came up here was because a certain someone was looking for you." He declared, his brown eyes sombering.

"E-eh, um who, exactly, Taichou…?" Rukia dared ask as her companion froze when they both recognized the _reiatsu_ coming from the person standing behind the proverbial "good witch".

"Well, Kuchiki-taichou, why don't you explain your reason for coming here?" Ukitake offered to his fellow captain that came forward to address both of his charges.

Kita offered a cheesy smile at seeing the stony look in his gray eyes. "Oh, Taichou~! W-what brought you all this way…?" She laughed nervously.

"I was going to ask if you two have seen the latest _Seireitei Bulletin_ and the… "_picture_" that came along with it." Kuchiki Byakuya cut across her stiffly, making her flinch, as he pulled out the magazine from his right sleeve, the magazine nothing more than tattered shreds that was limply rolled up like a newspaper.

"Um, Onii-sama, we haven't had the chance to read it yet…" Rukia piped up, if only to take some of the spotlight off of her friend.

"I was not asking you _directly_, Rukia." He stated shortly, ignoring her paled face; his eyes remained on the culprit behind the embarrassing photo that had been taken of him while he was sleeping. "Well, Third Seat, I'm highly curious on your take on this… **piece of artwork**." He mused cattily.

Kita gulped and laughed again, right foot inching away towards the edge, "Oh that! T-that… Well, um… Is that Rangiku calling? Gotta split; talk later, Rukia, Ukitake-taichou!" She squeaked, swiftly turning to leap over the edge of the rooftop and hit the ground running, spiriting away as fast as she could.

A vein twitched annoyedly on his brow. "Please forgive my intrusion, Captain; I must go tend to a very important _issue_… You're not off the hook, either, Rukia." Byakuya ground out pointedly to his sister-in-law, making her cringe, before he _shun-po_'d away and chased his fiancé.

Ukitake blinked as he looked at the photo left behind on the rooftop, feeling a sweatdrop form on his brow as he took note of the sleeping form of the younger captain half-covered by the sheets, bare chested; he looked to where the third seat had been standing prior to her flee and exhaled.

"Really now; it appears as if things never really change…" He mused.

* * *

_Now whether Kita may or may not have survived it, we may never know... /exeunt dramatic music  
TBC?_

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**just a small humor story. reviews make me feel all fuzzy inside so feel free to drop one!**


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